THE NEWS IS BACK

Sorry. News was on Hiatus because I was on a) Spring Break b) at South by Southwest c)had limited internet access d) ALL OF THE ABOVE?

Who cares.
AWESOME NEWS TIME


WORLD NEWS
Grand Canyon glass bridge to open


Visitors to the Grand Canyon are to get stunning views from a raised glass platform being inaugurated shortly. Rising 4,000ft (1,220m) from the canyon's floor and 70ft (20m) beyond its rim, the Skywalk is being described as an engineering first.

The Hualapai Indians, who own the site, are hoping to attract visitors to a high unemployment area. But some tribal members say this is a desecration of sacred ground and environmentalists are also concerned.

Construction of the Skywalk began in March 2004 - and will open to the public on 28 March with 120 people allowed on the platform at any one time. The bridge will be able to sustain winds in excess of 100mph (161km/h), as well as an 8.0-magnitude earthquake within 50 miles (80.5km).



US NEWS
Bitchy supermodel mops in heels

Supermodel Naomi Campbell has begun five days of mopping at New York's Sanitation Department, as punishment for hitting a maid with a mobile phone.
Campbell, 36, arrived in high heels with workboots slung over her shoulder.

Dozens of photographers witnessed her arrival, but a judge has allowed the model to work behind closed doors.

Campbell pleaded guilty in January to "reckless assault", after hitting Ana Scolavino in the back of the head with the phone in a row last March. Campbell was sentenced to five days community service and ordered to attend an anger management course.

She was also ordered to pay medical bills of $363 (£185) for her injured housekeeper who needed four stitches after the incident.

She is being allowed to do her cleaning duties in private to avoid the media scrum which surrounded Boy George when he swept the city's streets in the summer, as punishment for wasting police time.

Campbell turned up a few minutes before her scheduled reporting time of 8am. She chatted to an official as he escorted her along the driveway from the road into the huge building on Manhattan's Lower East Side.

Campbell ignored the waiting media. But Albert Durrell, deputy chief of the Department of Sanitation, spoke to reporters outside the facility. "We have plenty of work for her to do over the next five days," he said.








LOCAL NEWS
Mitt’s Commie phrase sparks rage

Cubans in Miami are steaming mad at former Gov. Mitt Romney for shooting his mouth off in stumbling Spanish, mispronouncing names and erroneously associating a notorious Fidel Castro-spewed Communist catch phrase with freedom fighters.

Politicians in South Florida have lashed out at the former Massachusetts governor and 2008 presidential hopeful for describing the socialist saying “Patria o muerte, venceremos” as “inspiring” and for claimingthe phrase was swiped from liberty-seeking Cubans by leftist admirers of Castro.

The phrase, which means “Fatherland or death, we shall overcome,” was bellowed as a political speech sign-off by the dictator for decades.

At another point in the speech to the Miami-Dade Republican Party, Romney bungled the names of prominent Cuban GOP politicians, referring to Florida House Speaker Marco Rubio as “Mario.”

Romney also garnered criticism for his hard-line stance on immigration and ending the talk with the phrase “Libertad, Libertad, Libertad,” a revolutionary saying made famous in the gangster movie “Scarface,” which many Cubans feel plays on cultural stereotypes.

But it was the former Bay State governor’s use of an infamous Fidel Castro line that sparked the most controversy.

“Hugo Chavez has tried to steal an inspiring phrase - Patria o muerte, venceremos,” Romney said. “It does not belong to him. It belongs to a free Cuba.”

But scholars and prominent Cubans contend the saying has always been a Communist rallying cry and that it represents the very essence of Fidel Castro’s oppressive regime.

“It means communism. It means Fidel Castro,” said Florida state Rep. Rene Garcia, a Republican who was at the March 9 speech. “It’s a Communist catch phrase.”

Romney spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom said of the flap: “The point is, the phrase belongs to liberators, not oppressors. It doesn’t belong to Fidel Castro. It doesn’t belong to Hugo Chavez. It belongs to a free Cuba.”

But Garcia said Romney was “ill-advised” to mention the saying at all, especially speaking in Miami, the epicenter of the Cuban-American struggle.

“When you come into our community, you should be a little better-prepared,” Garcia said, adding that the incident “left a negative taste with local officials.”

Ana Navarro, a Miami-based former United Nations Ambassador who was at the event, called the quote “a mistake” by “an empty suit.”

“It’s a Fidel Castro phrase. I’ve never heard it from anyone other than Fidel Castro or members of his government,” Navarro said.

Sandra Levinson, executive director of the Center for Cuban Studies in New York City, said the Castro quote “was never a cry of the old Cuba” and was coined by Castro and his supporters.

While acknowledging that Romney had only “best intentions” with his remarks, Levinson said he needs “someone knowledgeable” to advise him on Cuban affairs.



CELEB GOSSIP
Wilmer croons & La Lohan hisses

Wilmer Valderrama is still pining away for his ex, Lindsay Lohan, but when he tried to express it Sunday night, she shot him down. Lohan, who's been out here every night like an owl on the prowl, was onstage singing at Unik's weekly karaoke party when Valderrama, Ashton Kutcher's handsome co-star on "That '70s Show," showed up around 2:30 a.m.

The blond-again actress had already sung along to "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera and "Criminal" by Fiona Apple and was in the middle of "Like I Love You" by Justin Timberlake when in walked Valderrama, whom she dated in 2004 when she was just 18 and he 24. That's a big gap in dog years, and they lasted about six months before he went on to a relationship with Mandy Moore - but apparently, Lohan has lingered.

"He tried to talk to her, but she didn't have much time for him," noted our spywitness. "Then he grabbed a microphone and said, 'Lindsay, this is for you.' "

In front of the packed house, Valderrama sang these lyrics from Matchbox 20's "Back 2 Good:"

"Just stand there/I could say so much

But I don't go there cuz I don't want to I was thinking if you were lonely Maybe we could leave here and no one would know

... I'm lonely now and I don't know how to get it back to good."

After the guy sang his heart out, Lohan, now sitting at a table with five pals, including Samantha Ronson, yelled out for all to hear:

"It's too late!" Oh. No. You. Dih-int. "Wilmer tried to take it like a man," says our clubgoer. "But he left a few minutes later. He headed up to PM."

Perhaps Lohan felt bad - the recently rehabbed actress drank three glasses of champagne.

Despite the rejection, Valderrama was a champ to his waitress at PM.

Hearing that she was celebrating her birthday, he left her a $1,100 tip on a $400 tab.

Lohan's spokeswoman told us: "Lindsay is still going to [AA] meetings. It's a slow process. It's a day-to-day thing."



MUSIC NEWS
Isaac Brock Self-Mutilates at South Dakota Gig?

"Does anybody know a way that/ A body could get away/ Does anybody know a way?!"

Isaac Brock attempted to answer his own "Tiny Cities Made of Ashes" query in drastic fashion at a recent Modest Mouse show in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, according to several eyewitness reports. While performing the Moon and Antarctica standout at Ramkota Exhibit Hall on March 18, Brock allegedly began hitting himself in the face with his microphone, then proceeded to draw a knife and cut his own chest.

According to reader Joshua Cole, after deliberately bonking his head, Brock "then walked back to his amp, grabbed a pocket knife, and cut a 12 inch cut across his chest. His assistant had to grab the knife and stop him. He was bleeding the rest of the concert, and later fell off the stage into the barrier before singing in the crowd."

"The show carried on despite Isaac's bleeding and various people's concerns," said Cole.

A separate report on Sioux Falls blog Link described the incident further: "It appeared [Brock] had some sort of object in his hand that he used to make two swift cuts on his torso. Immediately after the frantic moves, the band's bearded stage hand/sound guy/roadie seated to Brock's left jumped on stage and grappled with Brock, making sure the singer's arms couldn't reach his body for further harm. Brock then cooled down a bit, embraced the stage hand and they talked in each other's ears for a second before each released the other and Brock returned to the mic. It all happened in about 10 to 15 seconds.

"After the incident, Brock's white T-shirt had two clear slices on its front with blood stains building around the cuts...Yet, he didn't miss a song and played through several more of the band's tunes before breaking for an encore."

A super sloppy YouTube clip of "Tiny Cities" in Sioux Falls shows Brock muttering indecipherables, presumably just before he put the knife to his own chest. Another clip depicts Brock subsequently performing "Float On", looking a bit dazed, perhaps, but not seriously hurt despite a blood-like substance clearly visible on his shirt. 'Twas only a flesh wound?

Modest Mouse's We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank hits shops today, March 20. According to the band's publicist, they have no statement and will continue their North American tour in Seattle tomorrow night.

For something truly gruesome, check out the new Ford advert featuring "American Idol" contestants kidz-bopping to "Float On".